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ok, in my last post i was....ehhh, whiney? frustrated? whatever.

but now i've moved to the point where i'm mad and about to steamroll over some people in order to get what i want.

correction: what i NEED.

at my 3 month endo check up last week, my PA told me that my a1c was 5.9, which is a new record for me! then she follows that up with, "that's great if you were trying to get pregnant, but there's really no need for it to even be that low. it means you're having too many lows." thanks, lady. really.

i have a lot of lows that i just can't get back up and i have a lot of highs that i just. can't. get. down. and apparently that translates to a lower a1c. even dexcom's software, which is supposed to be all algorithm-y and smart, cannot pinpoint any pattern as to why i go high or low. that's telling. now i just have to remember that when i get frustrated at myself for doing & eating the same things day in and day out and seeing different results.

but back to my appointment-

i feel like she kind of blitzkrieg's me, even though we probably spend a good 20 minutes in there. i brought the lab results that my naturopath had done (revealing my Hashimoto's diagnosis) and told her that i had been avoiding gluten and i think my blood sugar's were starting to rebound faster because of that.
she says, "well this isn't surprising, we knew you were hashi's..."
'scuse me just a minute there, doc, we most certainly did NOT know. i can't remember if i said, "well no one's ever said that to me..." or if i just thought it in my head. a LARGE part of treating hashi's is eliminating gluten in the diet and no one has ever, EVER even used the word "gluten" at my appointments. much less the word "hashimoto's."

then she guided the discussion about how i should still consider going on metformin. i can't remember if i brought it up or what, but all of a sudden she remembered a study she read recently about how natural thyroid meds were working better (yeah, duh because they're not chemicals, they're actual thyroid hormone) and maybe we should try that!

that was my goal going in to that appointment, but i was kind of surprised that she thought of it by herself and i didn't have to push for it. she still pushed the metformin, but in the end i said, "how about we try one new thing at a time?" and she said, "oh that's an even better idea!" hmm. yeah.

then it seemed like we were out the door, she was telling us to be careful driving home because of the storms, and i was checking out and setting up my next appointment.

now i've had a week to think {stew} on how that all went down.

i realized today that i've been thinking too much and need to take action. the hubs and i have been praying that God would show us what to do.....so i realized this morning that i've only been thinking and not actually doing anything.

duh.

so i sent an email to my doctor's office. i told them that i didn't feel my a1c was the total picture of my complete health and that there were other things i had wanted to discuss with her at my appointment, but just didn't have the time. i told them the six labs that i wanted them to run {to start with} and i told them where i wanted to have them done. we'll see what happens.

the more i think about it, the more i feel like she just doesn't know. i mean, she's a smart woman. she's had more education than i have. but she doesn't know what i feel like day to day. she doesn't live in my shoes and see everything i do that doesn't seem to make a difference. she's compartmentalized me in these two boxes "People with Type 1" and "People with Hashimoto's" and she hands out the appropriate prescriptions for each and scribbles in my chart that she's counseled me about my high blood sugars in the morning and weight loss and whatever....and then she goes to her next appointment.

nothing changes.

i'm not dumb. i have a hard-won college education. i know there's stuff about the human body that is beyond my comprehension. but i can read and comprehend the basic principle's of a system or process. i've done a bunch of research on hashimoto's and i've found a lot of patients who don't agree with the standard treatment because they still feel like crap and have found a better way to manage.

i do my own research and read labels and watch every bite that i put into my mouth. i've felt for several months now that something has been off, but i can't quite pinpoint what it is. the hashi's diagnosis helped, but since then i haven't really felt much different from avoiding gluten. which leads me to believe there's still something off.

i'm changing what i can, when i can. now it's time to make other people realize that too.