this is gonna be good

I'm lucky to have pretty good insurance here at my job. Yeah, yeah, all insurance companies are tough to deal with and all the terminology and lingo can get stupid complicated but I also have access to a great case manager to help with stuff like that.

So through our employee "wellness" program for the upcoming year (July 2013 - June 2014) we're having a free pre-screening day with a free consultation with a health coach. First we thought it was optional, but now we realize, if we want to actually even be in the wellness program this year (we earn points towards days off or $$ in our paychecks) we have to do this.

They're going to check bp, cholesterol, triglycerides, glucose and cotinine (which is tobacco if you're like me and don't smoke and have no idea what that is). Then they'll check other biometrics and send us over to the health coach.

I have a strong feeling that I'm going to know just a smidgen more about my health and body than these people....

"Hi, I have Type 1 diabetes and Hashimoto's;" {at this point I imagine a blank look as they digest the word 'Hashimoto's'} "my last A1c was July 3rd and it was 5.9; oh and here's my glucose sensor that checks my blood sugar every 5 minutes--ha, looks like I'm a little high right now, but it's been exactly two hours since I ate and I have insulin on board, so I'll just let it do it's job before I freak out about that number; I don't know what my cholesterol is but I'm sure if it was anywhere near bad my doctor would be pushing statins at me; my blood pressure is always really good at my doctor's visits and I'm trying to remember to check it when I'm at a grocery store with one of those free machines--my last bp was 111/78 two weeks ago; I know my bmi and hip to waist ratio might be high but I've been eating rabbit food for several months now with no change on that front; I've cut out soda, processed foods, and refined sugar and I've been gluten free for almost two months now. So now, stranger, you go ahead and coach me on how to do this better than I've been doing. Hm? No advice for me, you say? Thanks, sign my paper so I can get my 500 points and get back to work. Kthnxbai."

As I said, it's free--otherwise I wouldn't bother. Might get a laugh or two out of it all.