....Goodbye?

Hiiiii guys!

**waves sheepishly**

It's been a while, huh? I've been around, just busy with life.

Actually, that's only semi-truthful.

I've been busy with life, but more importantly I've also been sick to death of having to think about my diabetes. I live with it every minute of every day, I don't want to be online ranting about it as well.

Not that all diabetes bloggers {or any bloggers ftm} are just "ranting." Absolutely not. I am 100% convinced that they provide a valuable service to others out there who are looking for someone they can relate to. It's a great thing! So many bloggers helped me with diabetes-related things, that I can't even begin to name them all. Thank the good Lord for people being willing to be open about stuff like autoimmune diseases and how they affect everyday life!

I personally love reading blogs and I doubt I'll ever stop.

But hey, for me, right now, I need to turn my focus to other things. I can't escape my diabetes--in fact, within the past 4 months I've had the craziest time with it {DKA, anyone??}. But I'm tired of focusing on it. I'm tired of it controlling my life. Yes, it still will from time to time, but I prefer overall to think that I control it.

I WILL be starting another blog, however, based on one of the biggest things in my life right now. I'll update this post with a link as soon as I have one. I hope anyone who follows me from here will check it out from time to time.

So farewell diabetes blog! On to bigger and better!

~J

gigo

The phrase takes me back to keyboarding class, 8th grade. We were actually mostly learning how to type properly, but the class was still called keyboarding. Our teacher, Mrs. H., drilled into us the concept of "gigo" or "garbage in, garbage out." It's the basic principle of computer programmers everywhere: you put garbage in, you're gonna get garbage out.

It probably would have been relevant if any of us had grown up to become computer programmers. To my knowledge, none of us did.

I heard it again in college, of course delving a little deeper into the concept. Computer 101 and 102 with Mr. F. Nice guy, that Mr. F. But still, I memorized the concepts to pass the class and went on with my life. No real relevance from that either.

Until a few months ago. I finally realized that, for probably 90% of us out there, the "garbage in, garbage out" concept more readily applies to the most complex machine ever created--the human body. Something we all own and are responsible for.

And if you have children, you are responsible for them. You are responsible for teaching them and training them until they're old enough to make decisions for their own complex machine themselves. That's the very foundation of parenthood.

Our life train hasn't made the stop at Parenthood yet. Why? Because I'm working on fixing my own complex machine. I'm working on changes so that good decisions come naturally when I'm {even more} stressed out and sleep deprived and just want to get. out. of. the. house.

So it stands to reason that the opposite also holds true. Good stuff in, good stuff out {"gsigsu" doesn't quite have the same ring to it though}.

We wonder why our kids have so many diseases these days--as we pour their 3rd soda for the day and serve them pre-packaged meals where the ingredients list is longer than the nutrition facts.

We wonder why more people are dying of seemingly preventable problems at younger and younger ages--as we pop our daily statins and ACE-inhibitors.

We look around at other people watching them feel tired all the time and rationalize that it must be normal. Everyone feels like that. It's just part of aging. See your doctor for the proper symptom-masking medication and you'll be fine.

Uh, hello?

Stop.

Think.

Garbage in, garbage out.

If I opened some programming software, pounded on the keyboard like a 9-month old for a minute, then expected the software to spit out a usable program....you'd think I was crazy. "You have to put in the proper code," you'd say. "Computers are a great tool, but only if you give them what they need."

Should we not also do the same with our bodies?

I'm not able to sit down and write computer programming. I haven't been trained.

We {as a nation in general} have stopped being trained to put the proper code into our own programs. That's a big-picture problem and part of the underlying cause of this mess called healthcare {ie: sickcare}. It's not going to be fixed in a day, a week, or even a year. Maybe not even for years {Lord, help us!}.

But we can each make better individual choices. One step at a time until you get to where you need to be.

When a computer programmer finds a bug in his code, he works his way line by line, bit by bit, until he finds it and can figure out how to fix it.

I found bugs in my code and I'm fixing them bit by bit. It sometimes seems like this program will never run properly, but I know I have to keep on. I know the end result is a smooth running program. Will it be bug-free and happy days from there on out? No, definitely not. But I'll be so familiar with my code that I'll be able to quarantine the problem and have it fixed before it causes bigger issues. When I find a bug I'm unfamiliar with, I research the mess out of it until I have at least a basic understanding and steps to take to fix it. I learn, I grow, I change. Good stuff in.

Garbage in--processed, unhealthy foods; synthetic vitamins that end up flushed; pill-shaped chemicals we're told are good for us by the people who create them; known neuro-toxins in our food & water.

Garbage out--stress, anxiety, exhaustion, emotional instability, irregularity, hormonal imbalances.

Good stuff in--fresh foods free of pesticides; using God-given herbs and plants to treat minor {and even not-so-minor} issues; natural forms of vitamins and minerals our bodies need in order to function properly.

Good stuff out--energy to make it through the day; ability to better deal with stressful situations; peacefulness; the knowing that your body is functioning properly.

I know it's hard. It's freaking HARD. I have to shop at the same grocery stores as anyone else. We're on a budget, same as anyone else. There are steps I know we need to take that we just haven't been able to yet. Yes, we need to prioritize better. But we're working on it. One step at a time. I've recently taken another step that I didn't even see coming, but I'm pretty excited about where it can lead.

Life will never be completely perfect. We still live in an imperfect world.

"I feel fine," you say. "There's nothing wrong with me." To that I raise my eyebrow and answer, "Really? You are 100% convinced that you are functioning at 100%?"

"My kids won't eat that." Really? Don't give them a choice, Parent. They are the child and you are training and teaching them. Be the adult in your house. They won't go hungry for long.

Think about it. Use the brain you were given {er, unless you don't have enough good stuff in your diet, then you probably have a legit reason for not using your brain--hint, that's what cholesterol helps with}.

Garbage in, garbage out.
Good stuff in, good stuff out.

**This is NOT a recommendation to stop your medication. I am, thankfully, not a medical professional. Do your research, then do what you feel is best for you after talking with your doctor.

this is gonna be good

I'm lucky to have pretty good insurance here at my job. Yeah, yeah, all insurance companies are tough to deal with and all the terminology and lingo can get stupid complicated but I also have access to a great case manager to help with stuff like that.

So through our employee "wellness" program for the upcoming year (July 2013 - June 2014) we're having a free pre-screening day with a free consultation with a health coach. First we thought it was optional, but now we realize, if we want to actually even be in the wellness program this year (we earn points towards days off or $$ in our paychecks) we have to do this.

They're going to check bp, cholesterol, triglycerides, glucose and cotinine (which is tobacco if you're like me and don't smoke and have no idea what that is). Then they'll check other biometrics and send us over to the health coach.

I have a strong feeling that I'm going to know just a smidgen more about my health and body than these people....

"Hi, I have Type 1 diabetes and Hashimoto's;" {at this point I imagine a blank look as they digest the word 'Hashimoto's'} "my last A1c was July 3rd and it was 5.9; oh and here's my glucose sensor that checks my blood sugar every 5 minutes--ha, looks like I'm a little high right now, but it's been exactly two hours since I ate and I have insulin on board, so I'll just let it do it's job before I freak out about that number; I don't know what my cholesterol is but I'm sure if it was anywhere near bad my doctor would be pushing statins at me; my blood pressure is always really good at my doctor's visits and I'm trying to remember to check it when I'm at a grocery store with one of those free machines--my last bp was 111/78 two weeks ago; I know my bmi and hip to waist ratio might be high but I've been eating rabbit food for several months now with no change on that front; I've cut out soda, processed foods, and refined sugar and I've been gluten free for almost two months now. So now, stranger, you go ahead and coach me on how to do this better than I've been doing. Hm? No advice for me, you say? Thanks, sign my paper so I can get my 500 points and get back to work. Kthnxbai."

As I said, it's free--otherwise I wouldn't bother. Might get a laugh or two out of it all.

[untitled]

ok, in my last post i was....ehhh, whiney? frustrated? whatever.

but now i've moved to the point where i'm mad and about to steamroll over some people in order to get what i want.

correction: what i NEED.

at my 3 month endo check up last week, my PA told me that my a1c was 5.9, which is a new record for me! then she follows that up with, "that's great if you were trying to get pregnant, but there's really no need for it to even be that low. it means you're having too many lows." thanks, lady. really.

i have a lot of lows that i just can't get back up and i have a lot of highs that i just. can't. get. down. and apparently that translates to a lower a1c. even dexcom's software, which is supposed to be all algorithm-y and smart, cannot pinpoint any pattern as to why i go high or low. that's telling. now i just have to remember that when i get frustrated at myself for doing & eating the same things day in and day out and seeing different results.

but back to my appointment-

i feel like she kind of blitzkrieg's me, even though we probably spend a good 20 minutes in there. i brought the lab results that my naturopath had done (revealing my Hashimoto's diagnosis) and told her that i had been avoiding gluten and i think my blood sugar's were starting to rebound faster because of that.
she says, "well this isn't surprising, we knew you were hashi's..."
'scuse me just a minute there, doc, we most certainly did NOT know. i can't remember if i said, "well no one's ever said that to me..." or if i just thought it in my head. a LARGE part of treating hashi's is eliminating gluten in the diet and no one has ever, EVER even used the word "gluten" at my appointments. much less the word "hashimoto's."

then she guided the discussion about how i should still consider going on metformin. i can't remember if i brought it up or what, but all of a sudden she remembered a study she read recently about how natural thyroid meds were working better (yeah, duh because they're not chemicals, they're actual thyroid hormone) and maybe we should try that!

that was my goal going in to that appointment, but i was kind of surprised that she thought of it by herself and i didn't have to push for it. she still pushed the metformin, but in the end i said, "how about we try one new thing at a time?" and she said, "oh that's an even better idea!" hmm. yeah.

then it seemed like we were out the door, she was telling us to be careful driving home because of the storms, and i was checking out and setting up my next appointment.

now i've had a week to think {stew} on how that all went down.

i realized today that i've been thinking too much and need to take action. the hubs and i have been praying that God would show us what to do.....so i realized this morning that i've only been thinking and not actually doing anything.

duh.

so i sent an email to my doctor's office. i told them that i didn't feel my a1c was the total picture of my complete health and that there were other things i had wanted to discuss with her at my appointment, but just didn't have the time. i told them the six labs that i wanted them to run {to start with} and i told them where i wanted to have them done. we'll see what happens.

the more i think about it, the more i feel like she just doesn't know. i mean, she's a smart woman. she's had more education than i have. but she doesn't know what i feel like day to day. she doesn't live in my shoes and see everything i do that doesn't seem to make a difference. she's compartmentalized me in these two boxes "People with Type 1" and "People with Hashimoto's" and she hands out the appropriate prescriptions for each and scribbles in my chart that she's counseled me about my high blood sugars in the morning and weight loss and whatever....and then she goes to her next appointment.

nothing changes.

i'm not dumb. i have a hard-won college education. i know there's stuff about the human body that is beyond my comprehension. but i can read and comprehend the basic principle's of a system or process. i've done a bunch of research on hashimoto's and i've found a lot of patients who don't agree with the standard treatment because they still feel like crap and have found a better way to manage.

i do my own research and read labels and watch every bite that i put into my mouth. i've felt for several months now that something has been off, but i can't quite pinpoint what it is. the hashi's diagnosis helped, but since then i haven't really felt much different from avoiding gluten. which leads me to believe there's still something off.

i'm changing what i can, when i can. now it's time to make other people realize that too.

frenemy - and bullet points again

hiiiiii again. i promise--i'm still here. my thoughts are illogical and scattered lately, so bullet points will have to do. sorry.

not really.

here goes.

• so as the title of this post states, i have a new frenemy. his name is hashimoto's disease. but i just like to call him hashimoto's or even just hashi's for short. because when you're talking to people who just don't know and you tack on the word "disease" either their eyes widen and they subconsciously take a step away from you or they get a very confused look on their face. either way, you have to explain.
• and then they either still don't get it or jump in with a story about how their aunt/friend/cousin/brother's roommate's dog has that and doesn't that just make us that much more similar in life??
• why "frenemy," you ask? well, friend because, hello i can identify you now! you're no longer a stranger! and enemy because, heck, who really WANTS you around??
• i just had to add "frenemy" to the dictionary on here because the red squiggly line under it was driving me crazy. [yeah yeah, short trip, har-dee-har-har]
• now har-dee-har-har is added to the dictionary too.
• the super moon last week made people super dumb. i think most are still recovering.
• back to my frenemy--i have my next endo appointment on the 3rd and i don't think i've ever been so excited to fight traffic and park in a parking deck in my whole life. i'm going to get on the right medicine for my frenemy and things will get better! 
• i just have to make it until wednesday. i can do that, right? right??
• i have to call dexcom again. i finally got another transmitter (my 3rd since Feb) that works and they sent all the correct stuff to return the other two, but they didn't send the correct stuff to return the 3 sensors that failed because of it. they sent one bio-hazard cup for one sensor. i didn't mention that they sent folded up fedex bags, one folded up sheet of instructions, and one shipping label inside of a large fedex box. times 3. maybe it cost the same to them to ship that little folded up packet in a box vs a smaller padded envelope....but that's a lot of cardboard going to the dump! also...i need a replenishment order.
• still no word on upgrading to the new omnipod system. i think i have 2.5 boxes of pods left, so it might be a while.
• why do people call up a place and ask for generic information then have to scramble around when the person they called has no idea what they're talking about and needs specifics? here's an example:
  me: "hello, My Company, this is me, how can i help you?"
  them: "hi, yes, i need to check the status on an order i placed last week!"
  me: "ok, sure. what was your order number?"
  them: "oh, i'm not sure, hold on--" rustling papers, a "hmmm" in there, clicking keyboard keys...
  me: trying not to breathe too loudly in their ear, hoping this conversation doesn't move much closer to that awkward silence should-i-say-something-or-wait-for-them-to-say-something-or-are-they-waiting-for-me-to-say-something?
  them: (finally) "oh, here it is! man, just so much stuff on my desk, you know? ok, it's 4500..."
  me: typetypetype "ok, well it looks like that actually delivered yesterday..."
  them: "wow, i guess i better check with receiving then. who knows where they put it! ha ha!"
  .....::awkward shared laughter::.....
  me: thinking, that's not really...funny...
  them: "ok thanks for your help! have a good day!"
  me: "you too! mmmkay, bye."
• in similar-but-other news, when i answer the phone and its not for me, i sound like the lady from office space, "corporate accounts payable, this is nina...JUST a moment!" and sometimes i say it louder just to bug people in here....because, you know, i NEVER answer the phone and i MUST TURN IT UP TO FULL VOLUME TO MAKE SURE I HEAR IT when all along, i have been answering the phone, keeping track of who else in here does NOT answer the phone (since that's not in my job description), like EVER, and since my coworker's phone is all the way up to rock concert decibels, i figured i can hear the phone ring pretty well.
• we need a receptionist here, can you tell?
• i have a lot more to share, but i'm still in the whiney phase of figuring it all out in my head, so i think i'll spare y'all as much of that as possible. plus i'm hungry and its time for lunch....